From August to March, I kept relapsing and trying to make this film. In January, Jonas died and it felt like NYC had become haunted by his ghost. The experimental film world had been a safe haven during my struggles and now it seemed to reflect my rocky recovery. Friends relapse and decided not to be sober, I get sober again, and then Carolee and Barbara dies. Ghostly presences, longing, uncertainty and hope sing in unison and this film is the result of this push and pull.